Wednesday, November 17, 2010

The Door

As I've delved into those inner recesses of my beingness and following on from my previous Blog regarding Boundaries, I've discovered something very interesting when it comes to who stands at the boundary between our Inner and Outer worlds.

Without self awareness, we are blissfully unaware whether a boundary between these two worlds even exists. It never enters our thoughts to even think about it. Ignorance is surely bliss, until something in Life comes along and turns our world (inner & outer) upside down!

In my unaware past, I had an inner world in turmoil, funnily enough reflected in my outer world of turmoil.  As I started to discover how to engage with my inner world, I likened it to a classroom full of un-cared-for children, whose 'voices' would be a constant chatter in my mind, all seeking attention.  It was akin to walking into a classroom that hadn't ever been visited by an adult (me), with the windows blacked out and no rules of engagement.  Chaos!

Raise a blind, shine some light into the darkness and you might be surprised what you find.  And if you don't like what you see, then you might choose to change it, but one thing is certain: not doing anything will ensure status quo.

I decided to open a blind or two and as I started to get my 'room' of inner (and often dysfunctional) children into some sense of calmness by simply paying these aspects of my psyche some attention by really listening, the volume turned down, and I learned to choose what I thought about.  As Eckhart Tolle discusses in his books, I became an observer to my own thinking! Freedom at last!

After years of patience, resolution, realisation and transformation, my outer world continued to mirror my inner world, and I realised how could it be otherwise, for if 'someone else' was controlling the unfolding of my outer world, then who?  Or is it true that our outer world is directly manifested from our state of inner being, and that what we believe/think/say, 'is'?

Many gurus have given us this clue in so many different ways.

So I started thinking about the 'opening' that I'd discovered to my inner classroom, and realised that in fact it hadn't had a door at all, for all of my life.  I unknowingly allowed my disruptive, boundaryless and dysfunctional children to play in my outer world, often creating havoc, and allowed other's dysfunctional children to invade my classroom and turn it upside down.  There was no door, there was no one AT the door, and life was an interplay of me invading and being invaded.

Just like a parent, once I'd learned how to put functional boundaries in place, I could say 'no' to my inner world and therefore 'no' to 'space invaders' in my outer world, without feeling 'bad'.  I had to let go of 'popularity' which I sought from a deep lack of self worth, but that's another Blog!

I had in effect put a door on the doorway and a Peaceful Warrior on duty.

The effect is that my inner world is no longer left to run rampant, disrupting my life, and I can now choose when to let my inner kids out and have fun with my own children, and prevent those who wish to control and invade me out of fear, from doing so, keeping me safe.. And I can mostly do this with gentleness and firmness. The doorman has developed an awareness, just like a parent, of when it is and isn't safe to go out, and who is and isn't ok to 'play' with.

I wish I could express what a safe place life then becomes, as the Peaceful Warrior settles into his/her role of simply ensuring that no one gets hurt - on either side of the door.  Plus we learn that we can actually close the door for a while and decide on which side we wish to rest our attention.

Do I get it 'right' all the time?  No way!  However as long as my intention is to live a life of Peace and non-violence, then I create an inner landscape conducive to creating this in the world, as this is my mirror.

As Mahatma Ghandi stated, "Be the change you wish to see in the world".  He certainly was and his peaceful legacy is one that wrested his country from colonialism.

Firstly, try to locate your own threshold, secondly does it have a door, and finally, ask, "Is anyone is on duty?"  If not you have Inner Work to do!

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